Burlesque strippers in Star Wars costumes. Need I say more?

While setting up my Google Voice account, I found a link to a website called Voki that has a text to speech app. This app can be used to create your voicemail greeting for Google Voice.

They have a bunch of different male and female voices but I found that Kate has pronunciations that I liked. You don’t have to create an account to just make your greeting. You can also create widgets for your blogs. See sample below:

Confirmed as labeled. Yes, that’s a real tattoo.

Yes. This is real.

Switchblade Kitty from left to right: Heidi Shepherd, Carla Harvey, Kelly Cole, and Gabriella DeMarco.

Alcohol + Hard Rock + Nakid Chicks = Incendiary Show

Check out this group at the Roxy in West Hollywood, California on Monday nights.

Update: Switchblade Kitty is no longer playing at the Roxy. They will be playing at another location in April. Stay tuned.

Update 4/3/2009:
Starting April 11, 2009, Switchblade Kitty will be performing at Dragonfly every Saturday night.  Be there if you dare!

All photos by Paul Hart.

By now, it’s old news that there are hot girls in Solid Metal Gear 4 for the Playstation 3.  There’s a camera hidden behind the little girl’s desk that you can use to take pictures of these hotties.  You can find detailed instructions in one of the cheat websites.

The models used for the game were Yumi Kikuchi, Scarlett Chorvat, Lyndall Jarvis and Mieko Rye. I read a rumor that they had to pose nude to be scanned for the game but that sounds like a geek’s wet dream and not reality.

In any case, enjoy the pictures.

While playing at a tournament in LA, a guy told me to checkout the Hard Rock poker room.  So while I was in Vegas, I decided to check it out.

Before I even got to the poker room, I noticed some go-go dancers doing pole work in the Casino itself. They are the “Hard Rock Hell’s Belles” dancers doing their thing at the black jack tables.  And these girls are actually hot.  I really wanted to walk over and tip them but I decided to control myself.

When I got to the poker room, which is kind of hidden away in the back, the first thing I noticed was the good looking hostess that walks you over to the table.  However, that turned out to be nothing compared to 2 dealers they had there who were hotties.  I don’t mean hot for a female dealer.  I mean HOT!  One was named Bella, and the other was a blond who’s name I can’t remember right now.  Bella was wearing fishnet stockings, mini-skirt and 4 inch high heals.  No, I’m not joking.

When was the last time you saw a poker dealer wearing a mini-skirt?  When was the last time you saw a dealer you wanted to see in a mini-skirt?

Just so there’s no misunderstanding, I’m pretty used to looking at attractive females.  Your average wannabe Paris Hilton does nothing for me.  You have to be really hot for me to even take notice.  And Bella and the blond were both hotties.

So I’m playing and trying not to stare at the dealers, and up walks a stunning blond player.  WTF?  Yes, that’s right. Even the players looked good here.  Then a couple sits down, and they look like models.  I was clearly the ugliest player there.  No, the ugliest person there.

In any case, if you want to play around some really good looking people, this is the place to go. For more details on their strange “Hard Rock Straddle,” see my poker site.

This year, the Adult Entertainment Expo (AEE) was fairly small and some of the industry people didn’t show up. One thing I can tell you is I had a hell of a time trying to get my entry wrist-band because I paid for it online before the show.  The “Triple X Crew” where I bought my online tickets were so disorganized, it took longer for them to figure out what to do with me than for me to just stand in line and buy the ticket at the show.  It was horrible.  I’ll never do that again.

As for the show, I haven’t been to it in 10 years.  So it seemed very small to me, but I don’t know how it was last year.  I didn’t really see anything super interesting there except some lighting equipment that I might want to buy. Here are some of what I saw there.

Well, hello!  Now, do you see why they call me Cochinoman?

Jenna Jameson in a movie called “Zombie Strippers.”  Need I say more?